God has opened my eyes during this season of prayer. When I entered into it, I thought that there would be a great breakthrough for my husband. Pastor’s message kept centering around giving up this world, and the Holy Spirit spoke to us about giving up this world, and then a missionary came and his message was the same as well. And all the while, I kept thinking these were great things for Juan to be hearing.
I’m the one who needs these messages. Yes, maybe I’m not into the world like others are… but I’m still doing my fair share in my own life. All the attention I pay to facebook and trying to get my blog known. All the Bible studies I signed up to lead and be a part of. All of that and I don’t feel any closer to God. I see all these other bloggers that are homeschooling 7 kids, have beautiful homes, great blogs, and still have time to get their hair and makeup done in the morning – and I try to emulate them. So I pretty up my blog and try to post positive things going on in my life and cover up the dirty stuff. Try to do some giveaways and write up a post to give advice to someone, anyone… to show I have it all together too.
It’s all leading you away from Me. And the one thing I want more than anything in the world is to feel God. Like to REALLY feel His presence in my life. And so with God leading the way, I’m backing out all my other online commitments and trying to make my blog up to par with the most popular blogs (that I really do cherish and love and will continue to read!). And I’m going to go back to why I left the workforce in the first place: to be who I am in Christ Jesus and take care of my husband, my children, and this household. My blog will be my journal, because I love to write and so God laid it on my heart to start a blog. But that’s all I’m making it to be. If you like to read it, great. But I’m no longer out for readership – just a place to de-stress and write about my journey and reflect upon later on. I may come across something to giveaway and that’s fine, but I won’t search it out.
I’m going to concentrate on my relationship with God and on taking care of my family everything else is secondary. I want to live my life intentionally, not always trying to catch up. So many times I’ve missed appointments or paid something late or caused someone else problems because I’m not organized enough to know what’s going on around me. I’m done with it all.
This is a season of growth in the Lord. I’m going to seek Him out and break away from everything else. It’s time to step up my relationship with my King and bring it to a completely different level. I’m ready. Lord here I am! Send me!!!